Tank Top Tuesday

Sure, it’s fall. A lovely crispness has crept into the air. The leaves are showing off with one last colorful hurrah. And soon it’ll be all mittens and scarves. But that doesn’t mean we have to abandon the beauty of the simple, sheer tank top. In fact, I would argue there is no base garment more suited to the layering process thus making it an integral part of any wardrobe through all four seasons. Or, at least that’s how I’m rationalizing it in my head. Also, pretty much every place you go has nice, toasty indoor heating. So, like the indescribably lovely Shelley Conn above, get autumnal with your tank tops to your heart’s content. Just, you know, bring a jacket for when you have to go back outside.

Anna SilkHoly Badass Blue-Eyed Bo, Batman. Super Succubus came out to play, and it was lip-licking good. Check out this week’s “Lost Girl” SnapCap later today on AfterEllen.

Lena HeadeyAs happy as I am to have Lena back on TV on the regular, her new “Game of Thrones” role requires she wear considerably fewer tank tops than her “Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles” gig did.

Sasha AlexanderAs excited as I am about the return of “Rizzoli & Isles” in two weeks, I’m also nervous. What if I’ve forgotten how to write a good subtext recap? Better pray extra hard to the gayzzoli gods Nov. 28th.

Camila GreySometimes I remember out of the blue that Cam and Leisha like to kiss on planes, and it makes my whole week.

Liv TylerI like that Liv has gotten a tad thicker since her dancing with Alicia Silverstone in her dad’s music videos days. It suits her.

Marsha ThomasonMarsha gets to kiss her gorgeous girlfriend on “White Collar,” and then get kissed by the gorgeous Kat Dennings on “2 Broke Girls.” Some women have all the luck.

Aubrey PlazaNBC is finally making my dream Thursday night happen and airing “30 Rock” and “Parks & Recreation” back-to-back at 8 and 8:30 starting Jan. 12. There is a TV god, and she loves me.

Diane KeatonDid you know Diane Keaton was on Twitter? She tweets some really interesting photos. She has a nice eye. Also nice on the eyes? Vintage Diane in a tank top.

Tank Top Tuesday: Unforgettable Edition

You would not believe how many of you have written me to tell me about “Unforgettable.” Like, so many. Emails. Tweets. Comments. I’m not saying you guys have been persistent, but the other day a paper airplane came through my window with “Have you watched Unforgettable yet?” written inside. So, I watched. And, ladies, I owe you a “You were right.” It’s not that I necessarily that I am blown over by the series itself. The pacing is a little leaden and Poppy Montgomery seems sorta sleepy. Also, the dialogue? A show about a woman who has the ability to remember every minute detail from her past has her actually says, without irony, “This memory thing of mine comes in handy sometimes.” Um, don’t go dusting off a space on your mantel for that Emmy just yet, writers. But, great googly-moogly, were you ever right about the tank tops. And the arm porn.

I’m not exactly sure how a police detective gets away with wearing tank tops every single day to work, but I am grateful for her ridiculous flaunting of the dress code. Or perhaps the tank tops are necessary for her to be able to remember things. Does her condition require she stays cool and has a full range of motion? I’m a few episodes behind so maybe I missed the explanation. But whatever the reason, I must applaud its results. Alright, ladies. You got me. You were so, so right.

So please enjoy this very special mea culpa edition of Tank Top Tuesday. Just making up for lost time. Tank tops + great arms + red hair = fairly unforgettable.

Plus she also wears lots of big silver rings. And you know how I have a thing for big silver rings. DVR: Set.

p.s. Since it has been such a long time since my last Tank Top Tuesday, please enjoy this bonus treat of hot chicks in tank tops wielding power tools. See, patience can be a good thing.

Tank Top Tuesday

Oh, basic white tank top. How simple you are. Yet how undeniably effective. Sure, other colors are also nice. Your blacks. Your blues. Heck, even your reds. But the white tank top, well, it’s just a classic. What it does is really focus our attention on what’s in the tank top, as opposed to the tank itself. The way it hugs the form is almost workmanlike, yet exposes a natural womanliness. It’s the perfect conduit for unadulterated sexiness. Sheer yet still a statement. Right, so are you buying any of this? Have I prattled on for a sufficient amount of time to justify just showing you the hot ladies in white tank tops now? Or have you not heard a single word I’ve said because for the last five minutes you’ve been staring at Naya Rivera with your mouth open and a thin line of drool forming on your chin? I know, two days in a row with the drool on your screens. So perhaps before proceeding today, might I suggest a bib?

Lena HeadeyI’m pretty sure Lena is laughing at my attempt to wax eloquent about the white tank top. I am totally OK with that as long as she keeps wearing one.

Yvonne StrahovskiWhat? I’m sorry. Have you been standing there long? My brain stopped working temporarily for some unknown reason and I had to do a full system reboot. Oh my God, is that Yvonne in a... Dammit, not again. Control-Alt-Delete.

Cote de PabloJust think, if things had gone differently on “NCIS” maybe Cote would be the one having eye sex and TGTGT with Angie Harmon on “Rizzoli & Isles” instead of Sasha Alexander. Man, just thinking about what those subtext recaps would be like is tripping me out.

Minka KellyDoes it make me a very bad lady if I tell you I’ve decided to skip the new “Charlie’s Angels,” or a very good one?

Jordana BrewsterI probably won’t watch Jordana’s new remake, “Dallas,” either. But I will search the network press site for pictures of her in a tank top. So, you know, win-win.

Zoe KravitzOf course the daughter of Lisa Bonet and Lenny Kravitz is gorgeous. Of course.

WARNING: The last picture is NSFW. Thank the technology gods for smartphones, eh?

Karina LombardThis is like Tank Top Tuesday and Naked Lady Monday had a love child, make that twins.

Tank Top Tuesday

You know how that Tuesday after a vacation can be even worse than the Monday after a vacation because Tuesday is the day it actually sets in that, “Dammit, I’m really going to have to be here all week.” So, naturally, I’ve turned to tank tops to soften the blow. Oh, tank tops. You never fail me.

Maria Bello

I don’t love the promos for “Prime Suspect,” but I do love Maria. So, you know, sold.

Heather MorrisI am suddenly irrationally jealous of that volleyball net, and that pole. Possibly the sand.

Lynn ChenSure, we’re all still in love with Michelle. But of course we fell for Lynn, too. She taught us to fall, after all.

Gillian AndersonScully is working on her fitness. Your argument is invalid.

Rashida JonesIf I promise to keep posting pictures of Rashida in a tank top, will you promise to watch “Parks and Recreations?”

Katie McGrathYou can’t really see much of her tank top here. I’m surprisingly OK with that.

Annie LennoxThat amount of cool should be bottled and sold in stores.

Missy PeregrymI have long forgotten the plot of “Stick It,” but I will never forget those abs.

Joanne KellyHave you ever wondered what a young Agent Myka Bering would look like in a tank top by a campfire? Well, now you know.

Tank Top Tuesday

It’s Tuesday. So, well, you know what to do. Hop on board, secure the safety bar and please enjoy this ride through hot ladies in tank tops. Remember to keep your arms and legs inside the ride at all times. Do not attempt to touch any of the subjects. I mean, you can attempt it if you want, but you’re just you’re just going to smudge your computer screen. And, as always, please tip your friendly neighborhood carnie as you exit the ride.

Hayley AtwellJust when you thought she couldn’t get more attractive, she puts on a tank top.



Mariska HargitayThey should set a SVU case on the beach. Because, yeah, they just should.



Paget Brewster“Criminal Minds” writers have to think of a way to get Paget into a tank top in every episode this season. You know, to make up for lost time.



Michelle RodriguezI am trying to think of an M-Rod movie where I did not see her in a tank top. Still thinking, still thinking.



Lea Michele“Glee” has been gone for so long I actually miss Rachel Berry.



Rutina WesleyMy God, Tara, you are terrible at picking allegiances. First a crazy maenad and now a crazy witch. Should have stayed in New Orleans with your hot girlfriend, girl.



Amber HeardI don’t buy the whole “The Playboy Club” is about female empowerment spin, but I do buy how good Amber looks in the bunny suit.



Angelina JolieAdmit it, sometimes you miss this Angie. She was a hell of a lot of fun. Naughty, dangerous, willing to roll around naked with Elizabeth Mitchell fun.

Tank Top Tuesday: Gay it Forward

You know, I’m supposed to notice Stephanie March’s big yellow bandana. Because, you know, it’s yellow. But you know what I notice, well, besides the tank top? Her watch. That’s a big gay watch. Now, of course, I know Stephanie isn’t gay. She’s got Bobby freaking Flay cooking for her at home. But, she does play gay convincingly (as the brilliant plastics engineer slash lesbian on “30 Rock”). And, of course, gives good subtext with one Det. Olivia Benson. So, wait, where was I going with this? Oh right, those who play gay for our pleasure. Sometimes, they also wear pretty gay things for our pleasure, too. Like watches. And, of course, my personal favorite – tank tops.

Elizabeth MitchellElizabeth has earned the honorary hot plate for playing gay not once, not twice but three times. If she does a fourth, I say we have it bronzed.



Penelope CruzPenelope has only done it twice for us – but it was Charlize Theron and Scarlett Johansson, respectively. So, you know, good job.



Charlize TheronFine, so also played a lesbian serial killer. But, you know, nobody’s perfect.



Shay MitchellPoor dear, “A” made Emily a juicer. Though on the plus side, think of the muscle definition.



Patricia ClarksonSometimes I still expect her to talk with a German slur, like Greta from “High Art.”



Zoe SaldanaShe got to make out with Mila Kunis before it was Oscar-worthy to make out with Mila Kunis.



Piper PeraboAlso a twofer, but let’s be honest, we’ll love her forever just for kissing Lena.



Jenny ShimizuShe doesn’t have to play. She just is. My, is she ever.

Thanks for gaying it forward, ladies. And, yes, the tank tops.



EDIT: Looks like Piper and Penelope get their honorary hot plates as well for making the third time the charm. We anxiously await their fourth.