Out of this world

Being gay means lots of things. It means you fall in love a little differently than most of the world. It means you are hated irrationally by some of the world. It means still don’t have all the same rights as the rest of the world. And it means you’re going to have to tell the world you’re gay and therefore all of those different, hated, unequal things in the first place. It’s a lot to ask of a person to admit to. Yet so many of us do because to not would mean to not be who we really are.

Still, coming out is always your choice. Because it’s your life. And no one can tell how to live your life. And no one can tell you who you are. Only you can do that for yourself. At your own time. When you are ready.

Last night’s “Glee” was many things. It was way too focused on the vomit-inducing student-teacher cliché that is Puck and Shelby. It was way too invested in this ridiculous Crazy Quinn storyline and its equally ridiculous commentary on adoption. It was too confused about election law and what constitutes legal, non-slanderous political advertising. And it was probably way too close to home for many young or questioning people who aren’t out of the closet.

Let’s get this out of the way immediately: No one has the right to out you. When you come out is up to you, period.

So then just because Santana can be a raging bitch sometimes, doesn’t mean she deserves to be outed. Just because she’s mean to Finn, doesn’t mean she deserves to be outed. Just because she hasn’t made the decision to be out for herself yet, doesn’t mean she deserves to be outed. Santana did not deserve to be outed.

The last four minutes of “Glee” last night were particularly powerful. And, no, not just because that Adele mash-up is still SOFA KING AMAZING even after 3,876 repeat viewings. But because it showed, through Naya Rivera’s extraordinarily nuanced performance, what it means to be outed. You can see Santana’s whole world crumble in an instant. “I can’t believe this is happening.” “I haven’t even told my parents yet.” It’s all there, on the surface. The panic. The fear. The despair.

And here’s the other thing about being gay. Straight people, even the super allies and the most supportive, they can’t know what it is to come out. They’ll never have to do it. They don’t know what it means. What a big step it is. What a difficult confession it can be to even just to ourselves. That’s not really their fault, but it’s also not their place to judge. So when Finn tells Santana in a crowded school hallway that she should come out of the closet, that’s not just getting revenge – that’s imploding a life. And when he calls her a “coward” for not being out, well, that is almost as bad as outing her. Also the stuff about Brittany maybe not loving her back, that was just fucking mean.

Being in the closet can be a terrible burden. Carrying a secret can crush you slowly. But being ripped out of the closet before you’re ready is even worse. There could be very real consequences from being outed. Being kicked out to losing your job to being bullied to being beaten to even worse. So, then being ready to face that, being prepared – well, that’s everything.

But then, here’s the thing about being out. It’s better when you’re out. Maybe not right away. Maybe not for a long time. But it’s better to be open. It’s better to accept and embrace and love who you are for all the world to see. And once the world sees you, it’ll see you’re not so scary – we’re not so scary. Coming out matters because knowing a gay person makes it hard to hate us unconditionally. It’s easier to hate blindly what you think you don’t know or think you haven’t met. Because, make no mistake, we are everywhere.

That’s why there is one important exception to the outing rule. Those who hide their truth while actively using their power and position against us, they shall be afforded no quarter. Those conservative politicians who vote against our right to equality under the law, but shtup strangers in airplane restrooms. Those powerful players who call us an abomination, yet hire rentboys to tend to them on the weekends. That’s not coming to terms with oneself, that’s just pure hypocrisy. And that will not stand.

So, yes, it is better when you’re out. But that doesn’t mean it’s better before you’re ready, before you’re safe, before you decide. For some of us it’s a lifelong journey. And that’s OK, too. The goal is always to be honest and happy with yourself. So we get up each day, look ourselves in the mirror, and hope we like the person staring back at us – however long it takes. And when you do, we’ll be here. Because while you may feel alone, you’re not alone. That’s the other thing about being gay, you get a whole new family. And we love you, unconditionally.

Someone like Brittana

So, I woke up early intent on finishing another post this morning. And then I opened the Tweeter Machine and my feed was all my adorable Brittaniacs going, “Have you seen it? HAVE YOU SEEN IT?!” And now, after seeing it, I can safely say there is nothing else in the world I want to write about. Period. Full Stop. Just Brittana. And after watching The Troubletones do this amazing Adele mash-up of “Rumour Has It” and “Someone Like You,” I’m pretty sure it’ll be all you can think about, too.

[Note: Hit 1080p & Full Screen and just let the awesome wash over you.]

[Note 2:Here is a link to a region-free version for my international friends]

Don’t lie. You watched that like three times in a row, didn’t you? I know I did. Now, setting aside the video’s obvious emotional backstory (relax, relax – you know I’m going to get to it), the whole number is just gangbusters. Sorry, New Directions, but there’s a new sheriff in town and she is packing Adele in her holster. There is no musical ammo better. Look, I’m not sure if that metaphor worked, but just go with it.

I know this Tuesday’s “The First Time” was perhaps a letdown for those of us aboard the S.S. Brittana. They had zero moments (or even eye contact). But if this video from next week’s “Glee” is any indication, our adoration will be redeemed, and then some. I’ve been trying to avoid detailed spoilers, because I know some big Santana and Brittany developments are coming. Granted, I like knowing big-picture spoilers. In general plot developments, etc. But I’m loathe to know turn-of-the-screw episode minutia. Still, it seems unavoidable at this point to realize that some major Brittana emotions are brewing. The way Santana looks at Brittany when she sings, “I heard that you settled down, that you found a girl and you’re married now.” And then turns. And then looks at directly Brittany. Let’s just say Big Lesbian Feelings are happening in her heart, and my heart and everyone’s heart if it’s beating.

And, once again, I cannot be more impressed with Naya Rivera and her nuanced, powerful performance. It’s one thing to be able to deliver biting one liners. It’s another to be able to sing spectacularly. But this girl can also pack an emotional wallop. The Santana story arc in particular through the three seasons of this show is nothing short of spectacular. I don’t know what the future holds for Santana, but I certainly hope with all of my shipper heart that her love gets to last, and not hurt instead.

Let's get it on

I’ve been thinking a lot about sex. No, not like that. OK, a little like that. But mostly I’ve been thinking about sex as it relates to my favorite TV lady couples. And right now, sadly, we really only have three sexually active lady loving lady couples on North American primetime television: Callie & Arizona, Bo & Lauren and Brittany & Santana.

Now, there are a few more you could technically count. Thirteen and her zero-lines-of-dialogue girlfriend who disappeared off to Mykonos on “House.” Special Agent Diana Berrigan and her girlfriend Christie who has appeared once in three seasons of “White Collar.” And then there’s Emily Fields, though I’m not entirely sure where her revolving door of girlfriends is right now on “Pretty Little Liars.” Also, I’m pretty sure she hasn’t slept with any of them which makes me sad for her girlfriends because, well, you’ve seen Emily – right?

So, back to our big three. Calzona is the most stable and established, clearly. They’re married. They have a child. They’ve also addressed the whole lesbian and/or married-with-kids bed death problem already. And while their screentime has been all-too-short this season, what we’ve seen seems to be pretty normal, healthy and relatively lusty. We’re going to just call them the happily marrieds and move along to the more confusing couplings.

Now, it’s probably (actually no probably about it, but go with me) unfair to compare the representations of sexuality on “Lost Girl” with that on “Glee.” One is a dark, adult show based on overtly sexual themes. The other is a mainstream, teen show based on high school kids singing and dancing at random. They’re very different, but they both feature same-sex female couples who have seen their relationship develop on a very slow boil through the seasons. And in that respect, they’re very interesting examples of contrast.

On “Lost Girl,” the lust and the desire has been out there for a while, with little actual sex both on-screen or off-screen to show for it. But the two times they did sleep together, they were both explicit and exemplary in their depiction of a relationship in its various stages (i.e. First time – tender, exploratory. Second time – hungry, urgent.)

But, they’ve also done an admirable job of showing both sweetness and tenderness amid the push-you-on-the-bed, pull-you-back-to-me-by-your-thighs hotness. (Ugh – still so fucking hot.) The animal instinct is balanced by the small kiss on the cheek the morning after. The protectiveness. The genuine care. Nicely done, “Lost Girl.” Nicely done.

Sure, we don’t know how this whole frozen Nadia-sicle thing is going to play out and whether it’ll all end in heartbreak and more succuface rebounds with pizza delivery drivers. But for now, for now it’s pretty perfect. And the sex is downright rocking.

Over on “Glee,” the sexuality between Brittany and Santana has been handled very differently. Granted, teen show v. adult show. Coming out story v. will-they-or-won’t-they story. But while all the sex in Bo and Lauren’s relationship has been out in the open, all the sex in Brittany and Santana’s relationship has been off-screen. And, make no mistake, they have sex. They have sex-is-not-dating sex. They have scissoring-doesn’t-mean-I-want-to-have-lady-babies-with-you sex. They have does-taking-a-bath-together-means-we’re-dating sex. They’re getting it on like bunnies in cheerleading costumes – we’ve just never seen it. Any of it. Not even one little sweet lady kiss. And that, that’s pretty bogus.

While I do like that they’re taking their relationship slowly and delving into its ramifications, I don’t like that somehow this one couple in the entire Glee universe hasn’t had a chance to even share a small smooch on screen. Rachel has kissed Finn, Puck and Jesse. Quinn has kissed Finn, Puck and Sam. Heck even Kurt got to kiss Blaine – and Karofsky. And Santana and Brittany have both kissed their male dates in straight (or misguided gay, in the Britt-Kurt case) pairings. But Brittana together – nada. Not even a kiss on the cheek. Brittany has kissed that damn little Elvis-haired leprechaun more than Santana on screen.

And, having seen a screener for this week’s new episode, I can tell you the odds don’t get any better. We have not one, not two, not three, but seven – yes, SEVEN – kisses between Finn and Rachel. Kurt and Blaine, by comparison, get two. For the gayest show on television, that’s still pretty damn straight.

Now, certainly, a major mitigating factor here is that Santana and Brittany’s relationship is not out. Santana is not out at all. So, the lack of PDA is understandable. But, the lack of showing affection in private is not. And therein lies the rub. “Glee” isn’t just set in the classrooms and hallways of McKinley High. We’ve been in the living rooms, the bedrooms, the cars and even the motel rooms of our favorite Glee Club members. And we’ve even been in both Santana and Brittany’s bedrooms. Yet somehow, they never took the opportunity to show a little affection – let alone a kiss.

Now, this would make sense if they were still dancing around the issue of being into each other. But these two gals have been making with the sexytime since they were sophomores at least. And now, as seniors, it’s kind of about time we got to see it. And I’m not just saying this to be the pervy perv who perks up at the thought of girl-on-girl action. (Though, come on, we all know I’m the pervy perv who perks up at the thought of girl-on-girl action.) I’m saying this because seeing it helps make it real.

This whole idea of Brittana is still very theoretical. We’ve been told they have sex, we’ve been told they’re taking baths together. We’ve been told they do all the tender, sexy, hot things real couples do. But aside from that one nuzzle scene in Britt’s bedroom and the occasional shoulder lean or pinky link, these two could very well be besties with a touchy-feely side. OK, there was also that tequila body shot. God bless you, tequila body shot.

Yet still we’re stuck in this infernal cycle of tell, don’t show. We want some show. We want it now.

To be fair, part of this is just “Glee” being “Glee.” I don’t think they’ve been particularly good at conveying love, lust or longing. Will and Emma? Good lord, these are adults who don’t have sex. Finn and Rachel? They certainly have the awkward part of teenage love down pat. And do not get me started on this severely misguided, totally overdone and ridiculously dumb student-teacher thing between Puck and Shelby. Do not. And even they’ve kissed.

When you have a couple with real chemistry like Brittany and Santana and actresses up to the task like Heather Morris and Naya Rivera, you shouldn’t squander the opportunity. Brittana means a lot to a lot of people watching out there at home. People who might be questioning their own sexuality. People who might need reassurance of their sexuality. People who just want to know that love can be possible regardless of sexuality. Sure the sweetness of Brittana has been wonderful. The little looks. The little touches. Holding hands under the napkin. My heart, heavens, my heart. But that doesn’t mean we can’t ask for – even demand – more.

This silly little show about a show choir means something much more than jazz hands and diva battles to so many people. They say a kiss is just a kiss. But when it comes to Brittana, a sweet lady kiss is just everything.

NOTE: Tierra de lobos is a Spanish, not Mexican show. Hence it is European, not North American. Otherwise, trust me, I would have included that caliente.

Hello, 60 percent

So last week, this splashy headline came out that said “More than half of women are attracted to other women!” Hallelujah! Praise lesbian Jesus! All our dry spells are over. We have a better than 50-50 change of scoring with that cute brunette at the bar. Go get ‘em, tigers.

I mean, who wouldn’t be attracted to other women?

Women look like this.

And like this.

Also this.

Or this.

Other times that.

And even a little of this and that.

Of course, the reality is this news probably will not improve our ability to pick up hot straight chicks. The original report came from the UK’s Daily Mail, a publication notorious for loving sensational headlines and fuzzy math. That article about a Boise State study by a professor Elizabeth Morgan that was published in the Journal of Sex Research said that “60 percent (of heterosexual women) were sexually attracted to other women; 45 percent had kissed a woman and 50 per cent had fantasies about the same sex.” But, again, it’s the Daily Mail. So, you know, please feel free to chug your salt shaker.

Doing a little research of my own, I did indeed find a real study published in the Journal of Sex Research by a Elizabeth M. Morgan, a Boise State psychology professor, that looks at sexual orientation questioning among heterosexual women ages 18 to 23. The number of women in the study was different than the Daily Mail’s numbers (study: 333, Daily Mail: 484) and findings seem a little different. The real study found that “67 percent of exclusively heterosexual respondents indicated having thought about and/or questioned their sexual orientation.” Of those who have questioned their orientation, the questioning behavior broke down as “unelaborated questioning (19 percent), other-sex experiences (16 percent), exposure to sexual minorities (26 percent), assessment of same-sex attraction (48 percent) and evaluations of same-sex behavior (26 percent).”

Now I can’t be 100 percent sure these are the same studies, because of the differences in sample sizes and report percentages. (Prof. Morgan’s full article is only available for purchase and while I want to prove a point, and I don’t really care so much that I feel like shelling out $34.) And, even if it is the same study, the fairly small participant pool means I wouldn’t go making a bunch of universal proclamations based on it alone.

But, still, it adds research to that long-assumed truth that women are more sexually fluid than men. Or, at the very least, women are more willing and comfortable with being honest about their sexual fluidity. Or maybe we should just chalk it up to college. Besides learning how to shotgun a beer and sleep with your eyes open, students pretty much major in sexual experimentation during those years of academic excellence. This is also where that beer shotgunning thing can come in handy.

In the end, we don’t really need a study (or a fake study) to tell us that while we may not be able to hook up with all these some 60 percent of straight gal, we know they’re at least taking a look at us ladies. How could they not? I mean, look at us.

UPDATE: Wow, ask the universe and it delivers. I now am in possession of seven (SEVEN) copies of Prof. Morgan’s report. So looks like I’ll have some light reading to do this week. Thank you, thank you, kittens. You are, continually, the best.

Tank Top Tuesday

Oh, basic white tank top. How simple you are. Yet how undeniably effective. Sure, other colors are also nice. Your blacks. Your blues. Heck, even your reds. But the white tank top, well, it’s just a classic. What it does is really focus our attention on what’s in the tank top, as opposed to the tank itself. The way it hugs the form is almost workmanlike, yet exposes a natural womanliness. It’s the perfect conduit for unadulterated sexiness. Sheer yet still a statement. Right, so are you buying any of this? Have I prattled on for a sufficient amount of time to justify just showing you the hot ladies in white tank tops now? Or have you not heard a single word I’ve said because for the last five minutes you’ve been staring at Naya Rivera with your mouth open and a thin line of drool forming on your chin? I know, two days in a row with the drool on your screens. So perhaps before proceeding today, might I suggest a bib?

Lena HeadeyI’m pretty sure Lena is laughing at my attempt to wax eloquent about the white tank top. I am totally OK with that as long as she keeps wearing one.

Yvonne StrahovskiWhat? I’m sorry. Have you been standing there long? My brain stopped working temporarily for some unknown reason and I had to do a full system reboot. Oh my God, is that Yvonne in a... Dammit, not again. Control-Alt-Delete.

Cote de PabloJust think, if things had gone differently on “NCIS” maybe Cote would be the one having eye sex and TGTGT with Angie Harmon on “Rizzoli & Isles” instead of Sasha Alexander. Man, just thinking about what those subtext recaps would be like is tripping me out.

Minka KellyDoes it make me a very bad lady if I tell you I’ve decided to skip the new “Charlie’s Angels,” or a very good one?

Jordana BrewsterI probably won’t watch Jordana’s new remake, “Dallas,” either. But I will search the network press site for pictures of her in a tank top. So, you know, win-win.

Zoe KravitzOf course the daughter of Lisa Bonet and Lenny Kravitz is gorgeous. Of course.

WARNING: The last picture is NSFW. Thank the technology gods for smartphones, eh?

Karina LombardThis is like Tank Top Tuesday and Naked Lady Monday had a love child, make that twins.

It gets Glee

I know it’s only the second episode, but man is “Glee” better or what? Look, I’ve always loved “Glee.” For all its flaws, and there were many, it still made me grin and glow and generally feel giddy with its best of intentions every week. Also its jazz hands, I’m a sucker for jazz hands. But there have been problems. Continuity. Characterization. Crazy-ass storylines. And then they went and got themselves a real roomful of writers and promised to do better. And, if last night’s episode is any indication, they have. It got better.

First, we’ve got continuity. Quinn’s pregnancy – yeah, it happened and there was a real baby and real repercussions and real feelings. Who thought that storyline was every coming back after last season? Shelby returns. Puck is more than a haircut. The music serves the story. It’s so, well, refreshing.

And then there’s Brittany. Sure, she’s always funny. But making her just an empty-headed dumb-dumb wasn’t. Now she’s still Brittany, but with all that heart and the undeniable wisdom that brings. She’s adorably clueless, but not stupid. That’s important. It’s so, well, refreshing.

Finally, the characters are actually driving the story. Not the special guest stars (though Idina Menzel was indeed very special), or the musical numbers extravaganzas (though they were extravagant, they made sense) or the After School Special Messages (though I would have killed to have a unicorn-themed after school special growing up). It was the characters that made this episode so good. Kurt’s desire to be seen as more than The Gay. Puck’s desire to be more than a deadbeat dad. Finn’s desire to be a better dancer, and ambivalence about leaving Lima. Rachel’s desire to be, you know, Rachel. And best of all, none of this is seems to be happening in a vacuum like before, never to be mentioned again. It’s so, well – you know. REFRESHING.

Now I know the Achele/Faberry fans may not necessarily agree, but making Quinn the villain this season is pretty fucking brilliant. Because that means she is the one with the big redemption storyline this season as well. Also, Dianna Agron is delicious when she is bad – even without the pink hair.

Don’t worry, I didn’t forget Brittana. Sure, it’s moving slowly. But it’s moving. And it feels natural. The sweetness, the respect. OK, fine, I too screamed “NOW KISS!” at my screen. But I’ll take more of this any day over the whiplash characterizations we sometimes saw last season. And Kurt Locker is a very worthy addition to the Brittana Locker Chronicles.

You’re damn right she’s the unicorn, or bi-corn. Welcome back, “Glee.” I’m starting to believe in your magic again. Oh, and Brittany S. Pierce for President, y’all.

Back beat

At last, our long national nightmare is over. “Glee” is back. Kidding, kidding. I’m not that crazy. But, I won’t lie – I did miss me some “Glee” this summer. For all of its silliness, continuity issues, gay-girl storyline blue balling and the rest, this damn show still makes me smile like an idiot each week. And, with a full writing staff for the first time and a repeated promise to go “back to basics,” perhaps this season could finally reign in the series’ promise and deliver something that is consistently gleeful. Baring that, can Brittany and Santana please, please, please have a sweet lady kiss. Do not make all us Brittana shippers go go all Kanye meme and scream “Ryan Murphy doesn’t care about lesbians!” at our TVs.

But when those kids sing and dance, I can’t help it – my heart does a little flip. Or perhaps that heart palpitation is being caused by the return of the Cheerio streamer skirts. Brittany and Santana dancing together on tabletops? Hello, fan-fiction sprung to life.

Despite the new school year, “Glee” has already returned to some of its old ways. Like its insane habit of releasing 1,000 preview/clips before the actual episode. Though, when it’s as pretty in pink as Quinn returning to the hallways of McKinley High, you will hear not even the smallest peep of complaint from me. (WARNING: Spoilers for the first episode and also likely to cause an immediate Dianna Agron Sex Riot.)

Right. So. Yeah. Hello, “Glee” Season 3 – my body is ready.

I've gotta Glee

OK, I admit it. I miss “Glee.” It has been gone for so long now. It’s been three whole months and there are still more than three weeks until it’s back. Sure, there were fun “Glee” diversions this summer. Dianna Agron wore that T-shirt that made the world (i.e. every single tumblesbian) explode. Naya Rivera and Heather Morris shared an on-stage kiss. The “Glee” movie bombed – despite the glory that was Heather and Naya gyrating in 3D. And we learned that basically the entire cast was definitely leaving after this season, or definitely not leaving, or getting a spin-off, or never getting a spin-off. In other words, same Ryan Murphy, different shit.



Since they released the first new promo for Season 3,I’ve felt the pang. I miss those adorable Glee kids, I really do. I have no idea what this season will bring. If the addition of the show’s first real writing staff (including two real, live women – one a lesbian even) will make a difference for the better. We can only hope that it does. But regardless, what I miss are the actors and their characters themselves. What is indisputably the hardest-working cast in Hollywood (they sing, they dance, they act, they go on tour) is what makes the show for me. And, of course, The Gay. Man, I miss The Gay. Give us Brittana and Faberry, Season 3, or give us a death by slushie. Though, even if they don’t, there are always the shipper vids. We love you, shipper vids.

p.s. Murder is bad. But Google sure is helpful.

Star ships

You know what I like? Puppies? Rainbows? A glass of Rombauer merlot while watching the sunset into the ocean? OK, yes, I like all those things. So perhaps my query was a little broad. You know what I like about our favorite TV stars? I like when they ship the lesbian relationships as much as the fans. I really, really like that. I mean, it’s like catnip to us fans. We roll around and purr for hours after our favorite stars acknowledge our obsessions. And a few of the very best at doing that of late have been Naya Rivera, Joanne Kelly, Dana Delany and Julie Benz. The “Glee,” “Warehouse 13” and former “Desperate Housewives” stars have all rooted on their lesbian characters/subtext of late. Man, those ladies are making the fangirls hyperventilate big time.



Of course, Naya’s ability to make the fangirls’ hearts palpitate is nothing new. I mean, she called Santana and Brittany soulmates. But the way she keeps raising the bar is extraordinary. Like, take over the weekend at the “Glee: The 3D Concert Movie” premiere. Of course, she was great to fans – signing autographs and interacting as she does. But Naya took it one step further. She wore a “Brittana is love” bracelet.

COME ON. She wore the bracelet. She is truly the captain of this ship. Oh captain, my captain. p.s. Yes, I know a fan gave it to her. But she did put it on, which is quite something considering it does not match her outfit at all.



But Joanne’s captaining of the Myla/HG ship is new. I mean, fans had long read the subtext between Joanne’s Myka and Jaime Murray’s HG Wells. Jaime, that great bringer of lesbianism to television shows, had acknowledged the magnificent sideways glances her HG and Myka exchange on the show. But Joanne took it to that proverbial other level at Comic-Con. Not only did she confirm the subtext between the characters (saying “We fell in love a little bit.”), she seems to be actively rooting for the two.

I mean, come on. How adorable is that? SO ADORABLE.



And then there’s Dana Delany who told TV Guide she wants to see her character of Katherine and her girlfriend Robin (Julie Benz) return for the show’s final season.

“I would love to come back for one episode just to sort of wrap things up with Katherine. I want to know that she's happy. A happy lesbian. Wouldn't that be nice?”

Julie read Dana’s TV Guide comments and wholeheartedly agreed via Twitter.

Oh, ladies. That’s how you make a fandom love you forever and ever and ever.

Monday Monday Monday

Kittens, I say this every year, but I think I’m too old to party three days in a row for Pride. In fact, I know it. My body won’t stop yelling it at me this morning. But, still, totally worth it. Though, I made the rookie mistake of leaving my watch on while out in the sun and festivities all day yesterday. So I’ve got awesome screw-on hands today. Other fun things that happened at Pride? New York passed gay marriage. Equality is the best reason to party, period. I met Tegan & Sara. They were casually selling merchandise at the Revel & Riot booth all day. It was fun to watch the wave of recognition as the gay ladies passed by. Oh, wait, are they…HOLY CRAP. I also met my very talented AfterEllen colleague Lindsey Byrnes. Super cool gal who is excellent at finding funnel cakes. And, let’s see what else? Cocktails. Dancing. Rainbows. You know, the usual. But because of that I’m a wee bit exhausted today. So in lieu of a full post, please enjoy 10 minutes of everyone’s favorite closet lesbian and straight-up bitch Santana Lopez doing what she does. Can you believe I only saw one “Lesbanese” T-shirt all weekend? Hope you all had a happy Pride, too. Now, who else wants a nap?

Tank Top Tuesday

You know what’s nice to wear when sailing on a ship? Tank tops. You know what’s nice to see when talking about lesbian “ships?” Tank tops. Life has this beautiful symmetry to it sometimes. Today, in honor of some of our favorite gay lady relationships on TV (maintext, subtext & just the voices in our head varieties), how about a little friendly couple competition? Which pair wears it best? And, to get even more cutthroat, which partner in each pairing wears it best? Total lezzer tank top supremacy awaits, ladies. Choose wisely.

Naya RiveraStill No. 1 in our hearts, minds and pants.

Heather MorrisStill No. 1 in Santana’s heart, mind and pants.

Anna SilkIf you haven’t watched “Lost Girl,” I actually pity you.

Zoie PalmerDr. Hot Pants should always pair them with a tightly fitted tank. Always.

Sara RamirezTank scrubs, think about it Seattle Grace.

Jessica CapshawReally, really think about it Seattle Grace.

Lily LovelessLily, a pint and that smirk – it’s all a growing girl needs to survive.

Kat PrescottThough, of course, a daily supplement of Kat couldn’t hurt either.

Lea MicheleNow this is entirely different kind of “bait girl” look. I approve.

Dianna AgronWearing a tank top is basically the same thing as wearing a “Likes Girls” T-shirt, no?

Angie HarmonThis season on “Rizzoli & Isles,” in addition to wanting more eye sex we should all demand more tank tops.

Sasha AlexanderIsles being a Rizzoli is both confusing and hot. So. Fucking. Hot.

Man, life is just one tough decision after another.